transition 2

when the cliches settle you and i are standing face to face, without heavy sighs, long gone firsts, our baggage out in the open. i'm walking because i love myself more than i love the way you make me feel. school girl crushes have turned to grown woman rational. thank you for reminding me that i deserve more than in between.

transition

school girl crushes. damn these uncontrollable smiles that creep up on me.

*

excerpt #3

i refuse to be that girl. and that must kill you.

when you begin to feel your self-inflicted loneliness, i will have come to terms with the fact that i wasn't in love with you, but in love with what i was waiting for you to become and with what you once were.

with all do respect, you should have known.

***

Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces trying to close the gaps of the past.

-christopher mccandless; into the wild

...my gap is too deep. you wouldn't even know.

impossible possibilities

a small gesture of generosity. i've always sought being generous--with my time, my work, my love. i'm no altruistic saviour, but i have strong beliefs backed by passion. today, i, along with 4 of my friends received a gift in which we had hoped for. the man that gave this gift had no idea how much we needed it, but did it because, as we hoped, he saw good in us. i'm being vague, because it doesn't matter what the gift was, but rather he saw our vision of love and compassion. love without expecting to be loved back. agreed. but, a functioning relationship is based on mutuality and reciprocity. if we weren't loved back for all the love we were giving, our ultimate goal would have failed.

i am so thankful for love. i am so thankful for faith in impossibilities.

currently: ohming out
craving: a warm embrace and a kiss on the forehead

another excerpt

i watched the morning rays of light hit your sleeping face. i have no words to explain how light can brighten light. you said you loved your apartment for its windows. wide, antique borders, thin enough to hear the commotion of the city below. i painted the beauty of those windows on the canvas of my mind.

***

aygamisou

i wish we were strangers again.